Completeness of Life

There have been many books written discussing how one knows when their life is complete. There really isn’t a “checklist.” You can’t itemize and tick down the list saying “this counts – 9999 to go!” Completeness of a person’s life is very subjective. What makes one person’s life complete is much different than for another person.

“He swam the English Channel!” “He climbed Mt Everest.” “He holds the world record for…” - whatever. Yes, these can be great accomplishments, and yes, these can be admired.

I believe there are other measures much more valuable. “He touches people’s lives.” “He is loved by everyone.” “He helps people.”

Someone I admire very much sent me an email a couple of weeks ago as a response to this blog. He said “read through all of it. I enjoyed everything. Those memories are incredible – you’re looking at the mundane, everyday moments and creating a wonderful tapestry of your Dad. I even began to reminisce about those little moments I shared with my Dad, merely by reading yours.” Kevin did not get the opportunity to spend as many years with his father as I have with mine. My father did not get to spend as many years with his father either.

But it is not about the amount of time you spend with your father. It is clearly about the quality. If you spend enough time with someone – whether your father or someone else – you learn things. Sometimes it can be something simple – like tying your shoe. Sometimes it is bigger and more complex. You learn to see the world through another person’s eyes.

Dad has always been a hard worker. I can’t say I always worked hard, but he definitely instilled a strong work ethic in his boys – both of us.

My dad has “caring eyes.” As a youngster on the wrong end of a swat you might not have thought so, but he is extremely caring. Take care of people. Take care of your family, your friends, old people, and children. Help people you don’t know. Help them in anyway you can.

My dad’s email tag line is “Anyone can make a difference. Everyone should try.” How perfect is that?! The year 2000 movie “Pay It Forward” is a perfect example of how a simple “act” can change lives.

Dad has spent countless hours volunteering for many charities and organizations. The list is long. I won’t list them because I will certainly leave out an important one. He helps anyone and everyone who asks. This means commitment. We talked about this last week. He has to give up some of these volunteer efforts – not because they aren’t rewarding or deserving, but simply because they are commitments – and when you volunteer for something, it means you need to “follow through.” People count on your word when you accept an opportunity to help others.

I volunteer. Not nearly enough. Sometimes I feel guilty that I have more to offer, but I hold back. I don’t want the “commitment” or mostly the “guilty feeling” when you can’t meet the commitment.

Kevin wrote further “I said this to a buddy of mine two months ago… This guy and I are college friends who are wheeling and dealing with youngsters (I have 2 boys, Sean [4] and Adam [1]) – and we were talking about fatherhood and how we were affected by our own fathers. Thought you might like it…”

I liked it – a lot. I hope it spurs discussion. Thanks KDoc!

“A father’s life becomes complete when his kids strive to bestow on others what their Dad bestowed on them.”

No – it doesn’t mean a father’s life is over. There is always more to do. It simply means “completeness of life.” Success. Fulfilled.

“Anyone can make a difference. Everyone should try.”

- Craig